Be yourself in the present

There is only ever now. I love how Spaceballs' "instant cassettes" plays with the concept of now now. I regret spending too much time ruminating about my past and worrying about my future. I have come to realize that it is better to make short visits to those places rather than prolonged stays.

To understand why, let's first consider the past.

The Past

Everything you have ever experienced is back there. That in itself is a lot (and perpetually growing), but it's just the tip of the iceberg. Everything everyone else has ever experienced is back there too. In fact, everything that has ever happened (before humans, before our solar system...) is back there.

The past is a virtually infinite space to explore.

Most of us have a bias to spend time visiting our own experiences. Seems a shame in that we have already experienced that stuff and we could instead be using now to learn something new from someone else's experiences.

Of course there is a difference between experiencing and learning. Sometimes we must revisit our own experiences to extract understanding from them. That understanding can then effectively be used to help guide us now.

Just how much energy should we expend on understanding our experiences?

It might be less than you think----no pun intended.

I want to take care not to understate the importance of extracting understanding from experiences. It is so paramount that it is built into our nature (like breathing) in the form of dreams. We don't need to spend an exorbitant amount of conscious effort trying to sort out an understanding of our experiences because we already do this while we sleep.

It is of interest to note that if you are not consistently getting good sleep (allowing for the dreaming stage), then you are accruing a deficit of experience processing and understanding.

That is----you are likely not effectively sorting out your shit.

We can also revive a mental impression via reminiscence. Our mental impressions include so many good things (laughter, friendship, love, accomplishment) as well as not-so-good (embarrassment, sadness, sorrow) or even terrible things (betrayal, fear, hate, death).

I feel that indulging in these impressions should also be limited to small doses. Overindulgence of good impressions leads to apathy in the now. Rumination of not-so-good or terrible things leads to worry in the now. A predominance of apathy and worry in the now?

I imagine that's where we get the phrase, "Life sucks and then you die."

The Future

How does the parallel universe trope go? There are an infinite number of universes alongside our own and everything that could ever happen does. Even if this turns out not to be true, like the past, the future is a virtually infinite space to explore.

Our vision of the future includes a utopia as well as a hellscape.

Essentially we spend time foreseeing what could happen that would be good and what could happen that would be bad. It makes sense to take actions in the now that will maximize the probability of good things happening and also take actions to minimize the likelihood of bad things happening. Attempting to peer into the future may potentially help us identify these actions.

So----just how much time should we spend looking into a crystal ball?

I think we should first admit that a defining feature of the future is that it is uncertain (not precisely determined). Sure, there are some things that can be predicted with high confidence like when the clouds turn dark, the wind picks up, and you smell moisture in the air that there is going to be some rain. Or when a government hyper-inflates their currency that there is going to be some pain.

I attribute these "good guesses" to a combination of instinct, experience, and wisdom learned from others.

A vast majority of the future, however, is much less certain. I think this uncertainty can be a good thing. For me, not knowing makes life more interesting. If I am in a theatre and a preview comes up for a movie I want to see, I literally close my eyes, plug my ears with my fingers, and hum. Think about it, would you want to live in a world where most of the future is highly predictable?

It is of interest to note that if you are stuck in a rut (or loop) in your daily life, then you are essentially suffering through what I consider an overly predictable future.

From this perspective, not knowing the future is desirable. Therefore, beyond "good guesses" we shouldn't spend much time trying to predict it.

Then there is the worry. Am I getting enough exercise? Enough sun? Is it healthy for me to eat this? What if she doesn't like me? What if I fail?

And of course we don't just worry about our own future. We also worry about the future of those we love. He could fall down the stairs. He could choke on that. She could get in a car accident. She could get her heart broken. He could overdose.

We even worry about our stuff. It could get scratched. It might get wet. I could lose it. It could get stolen.

We worry about other people's worries, nuclear war, the health of our planet. I'm seriously worried about how much we worry. So much could go wrong in the future, it's a wonder that any of us persist beyond today!

But that's the thing isn't it? We do persist. Most of the time. It's time to temper the worrying. Cull it back to simple things like, "Watch your step."

I think we need to extend our thoughts into the future just enough to motivate healthy actions in the now. Healthy actions are those intended to improve our current state. If you are unmotivated to do much of anything or if things are not better today then yesterday then you should turn up your divination a bit.

The Present

Here is an interesting question: how long does now last? A second? A minute? An hour? A day? If it is clear that yesterday is the past and tomorrow is the future, then I feel good with answering that the present is today. But, here is the rub----it is always today. From that perspective, the entire time that you are alive is the present. There is only ever now. Ah, now I get it----pun intended.

Another interesting question: do you ever lose track of time? I'm not talking about blacking-out or going under general anesthesia. I mean when you are doing something and your sense of time disappears. You don't know if you have been doing it for ten minutes or an hour.

This is what I consider truly living in the now. For me it happens reading, writing, and playing sports, the piano or guitar. I call these my timeless activities. It is of interest to note that the timeless activities I am introducing here need to be healthy to be beneficial. While doing drugs may indeed cause you to lose your sense of time, I believe it comes at too high a cost----the grave risk and consequences of addiction, dependency and overdose.

I think it is relatively easy to accept that you are physically always in the present. The problem lies with your mental state. Let's consider dwelling in the past to be "Having your head up your ass." Let's also consider pondering the future as "Having your head in the clouds."

Now we are well equipped to answer the question of how to be in the present: Get your head out of your ass and down from the clouds. This is good advice, but perhaps a bit too general to be actionable.

So how can you be yourself in the present?

• Get good sleep. Extract an understanding of your experiences the natural way. If you are not getting good sleep take meaningful and lasting action to fix it.

• Try something new. Break free of your predictable daily loop. Learn to play a musical instrument (then you will be enabled to always learn or make a new song). Fall in love and get married. Have some children (those are guaranteed to bring on a whole bunch of new).

• Engage in a healthy timeless activity. Discover what yours are and make it a priority to do them.

• Meditate. Use the classic way to focus your attention on the now.

I am passionate about drinking games because when I am playing I'm drawn directly into the now. It's not about getting drunk. It's about letting down my guard and pretenses to just be me in the spirit of play. It's about seeing others do the same and getting to know who they really are.

It's about experimenting to evaluate the affect my actions have on the enjoyment of the game and adjusting them should they not improve my standing.

I look forward to when a game spontaneously pauses and the players just talk. Really interact as themselves. Taking turns fearlessly sharing their thoughts among a group of active listeners.

Don't ask me how long these pauses last because when they happen----I lose all sense of time.